I’m torn. I want to wear my glasses because I like to see, but I know from nearly every movie I’ve seen that I won’t find love until I take them off.

23384763.thb   OR    22947475.thb


Baby on board

I hate when cars have  stickers that say “Caution: Baby on Board. “Oh, OK, I was totally going to ram you, but because you have a baby, I won’t.”Image

To be continued…

Here is where I would tell you all about the awkwardness of having a massage. Pleasure noises (or lack there of) and all. But it’s been rescheduled. I know you can’t wait to hear whether or not I showed up in every piece of clothing I own and made small talk with the girl being paid to touch me, so I’ll keep you posted.

More thoughts on bikes

“Hand signals? What hand signals?!” – girl about to crash on her bike

I recently started riding a bicycle again, after taking about 16 years off between the ages of 12 and 28. My renewed interest was spurred by the deal I got at a summer yard sale last year – $20 for a used bike. Not bad condition either.

I like not having to search and pay for a parking spot. I also like not having to use any fuel besides the strength in my legs.

Riding on a bike through mid-day traffic takes bravery, as I recently discovered when I set out toward my favorite coffee spot one Monday morning. You’re essentially sitting on a tiny piece of metal with a seat and wheels on roads with cars, semi tractor trailers, Mack trucks and buses. It’s kind of like being a house cat in a land of lions and tigers. One wrong move and the orange tabby is pitted against the cheetah. And did I mention the cheetah has claws?

And what do you have for protection as you go into battle? A piece of plastic and foam strapped to your head. To guard your brains in the event of an unfortunate collision with a pickup truck. (And bike helmets mess up your hair and look flattering on absolutely no one. See previous post on helmet attractiveness and saving lives).

Arms, legs and torso – you’re on your own; try not to get run over. I have, so far, escaped collisions and injuries.

Here is where I would offer advice to new bicyclists, if I were a bike expert, or if I had more experience. But I’m not and I don’t. I’m open to hearing your advice, though.

Let’s all try to stay upright and avoid buses.