I’m torn. I want to wear my glasses because I like to see, but I know from nearly every movie I’ve seen that I won’t find love until I take them off.
Here is where I would tell you all about the awkwardness of having a massage. Pleasure noises (or lack there of) and all. But it’s been rescheduled. I know you can’t wait to hear whether or not I showed up in every piece of clothing I own and made small talk with the girl being paid to touch me, so I’ll keep you posted.
Every time I hear a grown woman say “pee pee” in public, it reaffirms my content at not yet being a mother.
“Hand signals? What hand signals?!” – girl about to crash on her bike
I recently started riding a bicycle again, after taking about 16 years off between the ages of 12 and 28. My renewed interest was spurred by the deal I got at a summer yard sale last year – $20 for a used bike. Not bad condition either.
I like not having to search and pay for a parking spot. I also like not having to use any fuel besides the strength in my legs.
Riding on a bike through mid-day traffic takes bravery, as I recently discovered when I set out toward my favorite coffee spot one Monday morning. You’re essentially sitting on a tiny piece of metal with a seat and wheels on roads with cars, semi tractor trailers, Mack trucks and buses. It’s kind of like being a house cat in a land of lions and tigers. One wrong move and the orange tabby is pitted against the cheetah. And did I mention the cheetah has claws?
And what do you have for protection as you go into battle? A piece of plastic and foam strapped to your head. To guard your brains in the event of an unfortunate collision with a pickup truck. (And bike helmets mess up your hair and look flattering on absolutely no one. See previous post on helmet attractiveness and saving lives).
Arms, legs and torso – you’re on your own; try not to get run over. I have, so far, escaped collisions and injuries.
Here is where I would offer advice to new bicyclists, if I were a bike expert, or if I had more experience. But I’m not and I don’t. I’m open to hearing your advice, though.
Let’s all try to stay upright and avoid buses.
Think of all the lives that could be saved if adult bicycle helmets were more attractive.